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Re: Ars Poetica
Wow, your poem has good imagery. You really depicted the scene where a writer first starts out with a blank page then ends it with a creation. I especially love ...
Jan 6, 2008 -
Re: Who Killed Lord Potemkin?
It was very good but there's only thing I didn't like and that is the playwright part. Well I know it would be a bit funny in a play if ...
Jan 4, 2008 -
Re: Führer
Gesundheit anyone? :lol: Wow you have a kind of anarchic thinking based on this story. Are you somehow a revolutionist? Cleansing. Cleanse the world! Cleanse Germany! Let the muck and ...
Dec 30, 2007 -
Re: Look Inside
It's kind of hard to critic lyrics that is 4 lines short but since you said that this is the chorus then I guess it's fine. One suggestion, when you're ...
Dec 26, 2007 -
Re: Person dieing....
It was a nice poem. It conveyed your emotion. Yeah, it sounds emo and I like it (laughs). But it's like a typical poem. Nothing really spectacular. Also there are ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: The Fire Within
It's a nice song. It's like a song from an anime like Naruto. This would sound good in a band. Bridge 1: I don't know what you've been told Let ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Kamikaze Folly
Yeah, mate it was good. It's a bit sad but still it was fine. But I think this song is a "Row Your Boat" type of song. It's flow is ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Waiting
It showed good imagery and emotion. Hold me now. Tell my that my nightmares Are nothing more Then paranoia. Shouldn't it be, "Tell me that my nightmares are nothing more ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Jingle bells
It was funny. I have 2 suggestions though. And you burst into big tears I agree with Cade. You should change that line because it's a bit awkward if you ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: We Used To Be
It good imagery and message. Though, I think this is a song. It's structure doesn't flow much. What is this life worth When all you ever get is pain There ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Still a Tigress
It was nice and very emotional. It also show good imagery. One question though, is this really a song? I think it's more of a poem than a song because ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Field Trip Part 1
Wow, an absolute thriller. It reminds me of Die Hard and the movie of Sandra Bullock and Keannu Reeves called, Speed. At first, it starts like another teen movie but ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Death on Stone
Wow that's a cliffhanger. I want to find out what's next. It's a great chapter especially the last part where the boy found his name engraved in a stone. What ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Baby's Lullaby
Hush little baby, no need to fear. Time to go to sleep while mama-dear is here. Hush little baby, no need to cry Mama-dear is here and always ‘til you… ...
Dec 24, 2007 -
Re: Rise and Fall by Moonlight
Enter months and, enter the years The glowing cheeks that I came to fear Your heavy collapse My heavy relapse The empty bottles, the empty bottles Sirens on the meadow, ...
Dec 24, 2007
